Changing a bf as u suggested,well it doesn;t eman that all this thing must relate of the bf thingy.U see writing in my blog the events is for me to express out my feeling to feel better ok maybe i m too unthoughtful of writing it down to let others to see but what do u want me to do?Wait i didn't say that its all your fault..
OK grace understands cause i tell her alot of things cos i trust her ,but of cos i do trust u.U know quarrelling isn't such an ideal thing to do.
My fault was that 1 trying to attract more attention.secondly having evil thots like might as well kill everybody i see.Or just simply keeping it at heart ..but i can't hold back anymore its not all mine or your fault.Ok i don't know if u noe this maybe u do just that i was angry and u didn't want to make much effort to bother anymore cause i was sulking.U see all this while everytime pple going out with u they will stcik to u ,its natural maybe u are born to have more frens..for e.g:Chanapa,Val and vivian will stick to u and they are the ppl we usually go out with.Hah but see everytime u all will have something to talk about looking at this sight makes me soo hurtfull and at that moment i thot that i was extra cause there was no much attention.Then upon having the bad thots to result of me crying is that since i have no attention perhaps the next week or so everybody will side me and i will have to go recess all alone as what i do usually and having ppl top talk behind my backs,planning to do some trick on me ..like somebody who did from p4.U see all i wanrt is somebody to accompany me to walk and share the joy of the time.But since they like u better well i suppose i can remain awhile at the back but its like every single time when i talk i talk rubbish or lame stuffs that driven them away,i am not good at saying jokles or interesting stuffs..depends if i had the mood.But its like jing yi here jing yi there...me leh?others just left me behind like i was being abndon or something.U see everytime for recess ppl will wait for u alot of people.But for me i don;t think so unless somebody of the head gang wants to wait for me..or perhaps like a few time all of u walk away without me chatting laughing like crazy then suddenly where is shin yee??Like i only pop out of their minds when they had their fun..
OKie its not your fault for having so much frens around u k?Not your fault,but sometimes i thot that u will maybe just talk to me ,u did just a few sentnces and thats it.Ok its due to my expression rite?I know that u are trying to make an effort.But sometimes i thot okie fine of they insisted to still stick around with u then i can just stand under the rain,well i did rather get wet than having the umbrella by myself cos u see if u don;t want the umbrella val won't want,then chanapa so fine lor..i want to get WET.
Most of it was my fault u know?Ok its sometimes misunderstanding but i am sensitive at pple around me the way they action.Just like the way u are sensitive to lesbain gentle ppl or people who touches your waist or something.But its like have u had the feeling having standing to soo many frens but none of them responses to u?I hate pple who does that especially when someone notices that person doesn;t want to appraoch me but calls another person to come to me and that oerson will say"come shin yee i talk to u ok?don;t feel sad.."Its like telling me all the while u know how i was feeling but not wanting to make an effor to talk to me..
Ok then fine ignore me make me feel use to it like being neglected like i was used to,fine i know i am not a very good person to hang out with so perhaps u ALL can secretly go out together and have fun without me ..If other ppl read this and say might as well don't have any frens ..okie i will go back to malaysia...Its like if only I went back to malaysia earlier not knowing anyone of u..better than have cryoing all day begging my dad on my knees crying like crazy having to stay here just because of me friends..ok ppl out here thinks i mad and i m telling a lie fine if thats the way u think it is..o maybe scolding fuck u(which refering to me)behind my back and saying"hui qu zui hao wo ye bu yao kan jian ni.."